You came to me in my dream
after such a long silent time
tentatively you visit

Your quiet voice
louder still
Bearing pain
such great sorrow

Piercing my mind and body
Filling my heart
Like a thorn in the side
Pulsating with each heartbeat
I cry
before God
your pain
your agony
As helplessly I sit aside
Honoring your wishes
To refrain
No touch
No word
Another day bereft of your company
According to my faith “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. Where for, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.”
I Corinthians 10: 13, 14
There is always a way out.  Many years ago I was in an abusive marriage.  My husband was an active alcoholic.  Initially we were in the honeymoon stage of our marriage where he could do no wrong and I allowed what may come because love knows no boundaries.   After a few months I became frustrated with the new found rules and regulations I was required to adhere to while he did his own thing outside of our home-life.
For days on end he wouldn’t come home and when he did we had a free for all for hours arguing over the way things are and the way things were NOT coming together to fulfill those dreams we spent endless hours putting together under candlelight, soft words and tender kisses.
Without realizing what I had done my husband had become my Idol; one that is adored, often blindly or excessively.  He and his unrealistic demands became my mission and I fell into the role of fulfilling his every demand.  I put aside my life of faith and stopped worshiping and praising my God.  Everything I did everyday focused on pleasing my husband even to the point of losing my own identity.
If you are in a relationship which takes the focus off of your spiritual walk.  If pleasing that person or thing is to the point of debasing yourself; you may have an idol in your life.   Consider the sacrifices you make to or for this thing or person.  According to my faith the only sacrifice I am asked to make is a sacrifice of praise.   Where is the cost in this?  There is none.  I lose nothing and gain everything because my God promises a way out.  He promises to line my life up accordingly and in so doing the joy of the Lord is my strength to overcome, to conquer any conquest which may try to distract me from my walk of faith.
Because my walk of faith is far more important to me than any other person, place or thing I separated myself from the idol in my life.  For many months I remained separated but willing for a reconciliation.  It is possible my spouse could have been delivered of alcohol abuse, it is possible he could be healed from whatever it is which troubled his soul so deeply that he had to drink to ease the pain.
In the end he chose to remain there in his bottle drinking away whatever it is that ails him and I had to leave him there.  Taking a broad stand for me and my small children.  Facing the world head on and whatever it had to throw my way.  Which was a greater challenge than I was actually prepared for but the alternative was not something I was willing to rear my children in.
Any parent willing to stay with an abusive person for the sake of LOVE is  selfish. Your children deserve a safe place to come home to each and every day. Any parent willing to expose their child to a dangerous situation doesn’t deserve those children and are establishing a breeding ground for misery and contempt.  Any parent remaining in an abusive situation even after it has been established and documented by the authorities is culpable and can be charged with endangerment.  No LOVE is worth losing your children over.  Focus, see the situation for what it is and allow yourself to move on if not for yourself  then for your children; they will respect you in the long run for sticking to your decision to move on.
by Susan Louise Davis

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