Master of your domain…

It is your life, your homelife and what you allow is on you and only you. It is you who either opens a door or closes it.

In recent years I have had opportunity to open my home to individuals who need a fresh start. In order to do this I have established a few ground rules some of which are negotiable but for the most part there is no budging. In some instances I have had to implement a written contract which is negotiable for those with short term memory issues.

Curfew, most adults will buck at having a curfew in place. I have heard all the arguments from “If I work and my friends work I won’t have time to hang out.” to “My friends schedules don’t jive with curfew!” and “I can’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend if I have a curfew at my age!” If a new start is what you seek then living by a curfew for a few short weeks is no great sacrifice. So don’t sign the contract but know you cannot live under my roof without it.

Employment, finding a job and keeping it are top priority. If you do not intend to diligently pursue employment and keep a job then again don’t sign the contract.

Self help, there are many ways a person can improve their circumstances by attending Church or a 12 step program or even receive counseling and therapy. If hanging out with your friends (the same ones that stood by and watched you screw your life up in the first place) IS your self help then by all means stick by them, don’t sign the contract.

If what you are doing hasn’t worked for you in as many years then time for changing things up is at hand and quite likely if you are at this place in your life it is most likely past time to change things up.

Why wait for a crisis to snap your head around and make you do a double take on your life? Must a tragedy befall before those necessary changes occur? In my many years of experience I continue to ask myself the same questions over and over again about why some individuals insist on doing things their way, a way which has only allowed one failed situation after another. Personally I would get tired of picking the dirt out of my teeth every time my choices got me knocked down. Don’t be afraid to make a change. Don’t be concerned about what others are going to think be concerned about the wonderful changes which you allow by doing something different.

Tough love, it isn’t easy but it works. So here I am telling you if you don’t like the rules, don’t sign the contract keep doing just what you have been doing and rest assured you will continue to reap the same thing over and over again.

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One thought on “Master of your domain…

  1. Having grown up around alcoholics/addicts I don’t have much patience for foolishness so the rope I leave people to “hang” themselves is fairly short. Believe me when I say I love my family and my friends. I love my church family and those I fellowship with but I won’t stand by and allow someone to ruin themselves and not forewarn them of the possible consequences of their actions.
    If you are an addict you know the game, you know how to roll and run with the game and I for one will not allow your game under my roof. No code of contract, no stay.

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