“I know you don’t do it on purpose but you talk above their ability to process, you realize you are talking to people in the south who did not have the same education you got?”
I have been advised of this much of my life. Some state it is because I spent my formative years in New England public schools where most believe a higher education really does exist. I can’t say that I have this belief.
My parents were intelligent people both read daily some of which was local newspapers as well as the one from their home town. Mom read voraciously romance, mystery and true crime stories where as my father had other interests and hobbies such as race cars and home remodel projects as well as other things. My dad listened to controversial talk radio shows and watched the news daily. My mother loved music of all kind and dabbled in the arts she even sold a painting or two. Both were spiritually grounded in their own ways and own beliefs. And both loved “JEOPARDY” each racing the other to produce the correct answer earning the highest points. I lend my level of intelligence to my parents and the environment they exposed me to as a child during my formative years. Which by the way, was filled with higher standards, higher level of thinking and an open minded approach to the possibilities.
Recently I had a minor run in with someone who was offended by my way of speech; meaning my elocution. Many who initially meet me have no understanding of my history, education or career choice and so they have no idea that this is really the way I communicate. Reared by intelligent individuals, granted a higher education than most, choosing academia studies in college and a career as an Interpreter for people who are deaf or hard of hearing. I have a lexicon of knowledge which rarely gets used now that I am retired and in a different career path. Up until recently I have never really given much thought to how I come across to others. In fact, I have always consider myself agreeable but now I will be more conscious about NOT speaking too intelligently for the situation.
And so just a few short days have passed since this little run in and while performing administrative work for my business I come across an email conversation I had with a young woman and in this conversation I can clearly see now what I didn’t see then, she was offended from start to finish because I spoke over her head. And as I re-read this email my heart begins to hurt, my throat constricts and I fight back tears because we never resolved this conversation. And my usual living in acceptance has now turned to living in regret.
She being angry and bitterly offended allowed five weeks to go by where little to no words were spoken between us. As much as I pursue a reconciliation and apologize for any offense she stands her ground and holds a grudge. Tentatively in the fifth week we begin communicating but she still angry keeps her distance.
Imagine my great regret when a few days into reconciliation she is abducted and murdered.
I had an opportunity to apologize to someone I had offended. Instead of a warm and welcoming reception it was
tossed back in my face as offensive because I was too articulate and they didn’t know if I was sincere or rude.
Believe me when I say I am quick to reconcile any incident, I never want to be left holding the bag of nastygrams from a loved one again. I can never clear the matter up with this young woman. It may always way heavy on my heart that she never really new that I loved her as one of my own.
Friends, today I want to encourage you to face yourself as others see you. To consider trimming away some things that don’t come across appropriately but offensively. Read a book in the mirror and consider the expressions you use because some people are in tune to body language and facial affect. Your passion over a thing may come across as aggression… Practice approachability…
Study on the ways to integrate mercy and grace into your daily walk and practice, practice, practice
you and your loved ones will be thankful if you do