A voice crying out in the wilderness…

If you have opportunity to be that voice, take it. A Non biased voice of reason seeking peace and harmony
is just what our society needs right about now.

I know an individual who is a guest writer for a well read newspaper.
With an opportunity to make a positive impact on not only their community but even readers from
(thanks to the internet) all over the world.
For the most part I do believe this writer has done so above and beyond but then:

A couple of years ago I noticed a change in the tone of their contributions to the paper and
have had grave concern for this writer as well as the impact their words have and continue to
have on its audience.

Based on recent responses to their input regarding color crimes such as white on black and
black on white their opinion has become colored with defense for one color over the other and
is no longer insightful but incite-ful.

Protected under the freedom of speech act, this contributor could do a world of good by
remaining non biased in supporting the success of the human race as a whole and not one
color over the other.

Recently, they shared a copy of some of what a reader had to say regarding their now biased
commentary of color crimes and its outcome:

“Sharing an email I received after the Ferguson verdict :
Maybe now you get it when I say “clean up your act”.
There is no defense, none whatsoever, for what happened in Ferguson last night.
Everyone knew what was going to happen since the black community would
settle for no decision other than the one they wanted, even if there was
no justification for it. Yes, I am sure there were some whites involved
also, but led by the black community. Protest, but loot, burn, etc., never.
You should be ashamed, but I know you are not. You will always make up
an excuse for the actions of the black community. There is NO excuse !!
If I had been one of those shop owners, I would have been fully armed.
No matter your color, black, white, yellow, you would have been blown to
bits if you tried to loot my shop. In summation, a total disgrace.
I am not interested in a response from you because it will make me
vomit. Supposed leaders like you need to start leading, instead of
alibiing, but you won’t. I hope you are very proud !!!


I don’t know what changed the non biased slant of reporting from this guest columnist but I can say this,
the writer of the now incite-ful column has a loaded gun and is using it freely due to the laws which govern
the freedom of speech. I say if you have an opportunity to make an impact do so with great conviction but
without harming one race or the other. If you have an outlet which can go global use it for the benefit of
ALL human race. Knowing some of the guest columnists history I can say this:

“You are neither white, nor black but both and quite honestly you cannot play the “mixed” card
either because at this stage of the game WE (humans) are all mixed. When I read your readers response
my initial reaction is this is a reader who believes you have power (and I agree with such a large following nationally and globally) and could use your contribution to make a positive impact on the community
but you didn’t. You fed into the race carnage your personal take on things continuing to stir the pot.

Can I just say from my perspective you fail as a voice crying out in the wilderness because
you choose one race over the other. Regardless of color you disgrace yourself and the position you
have to create a better unity with the words you weave and put out there each and every time you
submit an article. The reader has every reason to be outraged and feel the futility of the
‘battle of the races’ they are forced to live with because of influence like yours and anyone
else who has a voice and uses it to do harm and not good.

We cannot pick and choose in these matters, the human race depends on those who will
stand strong and firm and when you choose to push one race off as more abusive than the other
then it becomes an epic fail.

I say be responsible with your opportunity. Fight for a cause for all the right reasons
and not just because the black or white in you requires it. As forerunners, I know the choice your
parents made when they decided to marry one race to the other and I am certain you have felt the brunt
of their choice but you do neither their memory nor the sacrifices made to avoid prosecution for
marrying outside their race by inciting hate amongst the twain. Its like taking a bat to yourself
because you are white and black, you cannot accept one without the other and trying to do so will
only cause harm as is the case with your contributions regarding the color issue in our country.
My uncle and your mother set an example for us, we are the pillars of truth against the divide
of color and our ancestors proved it in their actions. So let our actions continue to do so.

From my perspective and obviously from that of the writer who has been accused of vitriolic response to
your actions is not only bold but well served. Your writer is holding you accountable.
And your response is to belittle, berate and laugh in the face of the “crazy white man”
who called you out on your part in stirring up controversy. You have a responsibility
to distribute non biased information, to build up the community and not divide.
And in recent months you have failed to do so.
May I suggest you retire your pen for a hiatus from the causes you hold so closely and get back to
basics with your maker because your influence is slipping right into the gutter with all the
other well meaning voices out there who have lost their ability to see outside the color box?

In days gone by I perceived your goal to accomplish peace and harmony amongst the people just as
Martin Luther King Jr did but more recently you have taken up the mantle of Malcom X and his heated
hate filled speeches from the 1960s which encourage hate for whites and continued disgrace for
blacks. In these matters, you have to choose the human race which is not black nor white.

“The voice of one crying in the wilderness,
Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.”
~Mark 1:3


Drunk, drunker, drunk-ed

You and I could go on and on about the truth of the matter, your side, my side, whatever.
You are a drunk, devoted to your addiction and nothing will stand in the way of that drink, NOTHING.
You choose it and until you don’t choose it you will remain drunk, period.

The fullness of life served to you on a silver platter as it is to us all and what have you done with it but then who am I to ask? It is your business if you fail to do anything with your talent. You have time and opportunity which you cannot deny and plenty of innocent bystanders to witness as you randomly haphazardly pass by ignorant of the trampled souls you leave in your wake.

I tormented myself for years over you and the fact that you chose booze over love. God knows how I have loved you and resented you and feared for you. I know how it is to want something so badly you would just about sell your soul because I have done it but I don’t know how a body could sell their whole life for that one thing they simply cannot do without, addiction courses through your veins and for you it is called alcohol.

As I and our brokenhearted children nurse our wounds and grieve the loss of a husband and father who was there but not present and probably never will be. The years of healing, the bouts of depression, rage and bitterness flew through my home not just my own but that of three young children all aware that daddy is not coming home and when they go to visit you just a whiff of your stale alcohol laden breath, blood shot eyes, swaying stance (you did Johnny Depp Pirates of the Caribbean long before there was a Johnny Depp).

I tried to call you, to reason with you but your primary response was, “You wanted the divorce. Hows it feel to get what you want?” And then the child support check wouldn’t come. Child Support Enforcement enters in and there a battle ensues which will leave you a Felon on Federal probation. You ran for years from state to state, leaving a trail on one address after another. No sooner would the law catch up with you than you would disappear again. It didn’t help our children one bit that your family enabled you making flight a possibility for a very long time. You and your family allowed our children to go without. You all butt-hurt and they soothing your ego by sending money, shoes and clothes.

A full grown man, with children a man married and divorced and working but no one brave enough to tell you to suck it up. Smack your butt and get glad buddy because you screwed up quite possibly the best thing that will ever happen to you. A loyal and faithful wife and children who love and adore you. Who think the sun and moon rose and set again on your shoulders. In awe of your gifts and talents but it isn’t enough for you.

Who do you think suffered the most because you with held their rightful claim to love, protection and support?
It wasn’t me, it was our children who knew you worked because when you did call you would brag on the new car
or motorcycle or guitar you just bought or one of your family members gave you. But you had nothing to give not even a crumb of love for any of these children who waited for your call night after night only for the phone not to ring or run to the mailbox to find another day has passed without a letter or worse nothing on their birthday.

I took it on the chin, put myself through college and provided our children the most fulfilling life I could muster on and off a shoe string budget. I gave them the life you and I promised to provide.
More than once through the years I have been asked if I ever regret not having pursued my dreams and to them I always say the same thing, “I have no regrets.  I am far more fulfilled by sacrificing the of love of a man for the love of my children and would do it again were it necessary. Lovers come and go but our children are forever. A life time investment no parent should ever shirk.”

Yes it would be nice if my ex husband would pay the *38k he owes in unpaid child support.
I may not be able to use any of that money now to send my children through college as I had desired but I am sure I could find something worthwhile to invest it in.

*An unexpected phone call to notify me that a payment on that 38k my ex husband owes me in non paid child support came in on my cell phone today.  It has been nearly a decade since he made any effort on the unpaid balance.  Our children are adults nearing thirty years old with children of their own and the absent father has become the absent grandfather.  Out of respect for his privacy I am deleting his photographs (which he made publicly available through facebook).  It is my hope that he continues to pay down this debt so I can invest it in the future of our adult children, grand children etc.,

UPDATE:   November 19, 2015>>>>Via employment garnishment Robert’s employer submitted five small payments toward the unpaid child support Robert owes then…NOTHING

If you know the where abouts of the this man:


Robert Allen Bell, Jr  also known as: Robby, Bobby, Scooter, Rob and Bob please contact the:

Eastern Office EASTERN (552)Pete Liakakis Government Building222                                                                                     West Oglethorpe AvenueSuite 119                                                                                                                                             Savannah,GA 31401

Phone: 1-844-MYGADHS

According to my resources he is living & working somewhere in Texas United States of America since September 2015.  He also has a facebook page with the above photo as his profile picture.  Feel free to turn him in to the Child Support Enforcement office in Savannah, Georgia at the above mentioned address.  No child should go without especially in light of their parent’s ability to work and provide for their care.  This man’s children sacrificed so their father Robert Allen Bell, Jr could squander every cent that was morally and ethically theirs.  He has a debt to me of 38,000.00 in unpaid child support which is enforceable by law.  He was indicted more than a decade ago for fleeing the state to avoid prosecution for said unpaid child support.  Some members of his family has made it possible for him to elude prosecution and enforcement of the court order of support.

If you know this person:

Robert Allen Bell Jr Smiths Station, Alabama

Robert Allen Bell Jr


Please feel free to turn him in to the Savannah Child support enforcement agency he is known as one of the biggest deadbeats in the state of Georgia for more than a decade.

Eastern Office EASTERN (552)Pete Liakakis Government Building222                                                                                     West Oglethorpe AvenueSuite 119                                                                                                                                             Savannah,GA 31401

Phone: 1-844-MYGADHS

A Daunting Task

According to the teachings of my faith I am to compare myself to no other human.
Any comparison’s I make are ONLY to the perfect living example of Jesus Christ.

It can be a daunting task to read of his life experiences and see how he turned from those same
temptations I face and have faced.

Today I am reminded of where I was as a young woman of nineteen years old comparing to who I am as a
fifty something senior (yeah, middle age for me was in my thirties and I completely missed them).
Reaping what I had sown when younger, as a senior I am just coming out of the results of those choices.

Born into the world I have only worldly examples to lean on and for the most part imparted that initial
upbringing from my childhood to my children as I reared them in the only way I knew how.
While studying on the life of Christ I found fault with some of the teachings passed down to me from
my parents and chose not to repeat unfortunately, my studies of the life of Christ was sporadic and
did not intensify until latter years when the kids have moved on and are cultivating their own
families and traditions.

I have worn the scarlet letter and my history has been shared with all sorts of accusation,
sideway glances, rejection and abandonment from loved ones who saw and judged harshly and
believed me unworthy. And learned to see myself through their eyes.

One broken down relationship after another I have been made alone.
The opportunity to heal has begun and those old tapes, those old negative words and glances
no longer haunt as I move further and further away from the memories of a life which had once
held me captive.

I am no longer there frozen in time by the pain of the past. Each day bringing new experiences and
opportunity to walk the walk. To see the world around me with a set of new eyes allowing my soul
the opportunity to reside within me in harmony. Today I judge myself according to the teachings of
Christ and not in comparison to any human.

Humans fall short, they always will but as a human I have a choice in the matter and today I practice the
principals of love. Alexander Pope had it right when he shared, “To err is human, to forgive divine”
which rings true in my life today because it is a divine walk I seek and
I can only get there because I forgive.

My mail is read and you now know the truth if you didn’t before which is simple, I am human and I err.

Friends, today I want to encourage you to compare yourself to NO ONE but to practice a lifestyle which
benefits the whole. Invest yourself in ways which will positively affect every situation.
If you must find fault find it in yourself and correct it.
Your journey is your own and if you do not take inventory of where you are at compared to where you
have been you will not get where you desire to go because your wheels spin…

Much love

Whose Responsibility is It?

Educators take a hit over and over again…living in a country which offers a “free” education and one student after another, one parent after another blame the system for the lackluster education received.
Yes, some educators fall short and some don’t even make a mark but then there are those who go above and beyond.

I say if a student is uneducated look at the homeplace…an education begins in the home.
I say if a student is not held accountable for not performing scholastically then by all means blame the educator.
Don’t consider the students lack of dedication and desire to know the facts for themself.

The problem with the system isn’t teachers who are in it for the money (tongue in cheek) or the free summer paychecks but the parents who perpetuate blame games, do not hold their lazy and unmotivated child accountable and have not leant structure and stability in the homeplace which prepares a child to respectfully participate in their own education…

Soooo to all the Educators out there who put forth the effort, who paid thousands of dollar for your credentials,
to those who dig deep in their pocket for supplies and take time away from their private life to lend time to those students who are truly motivated and aware that the level of education they receive is contingent on their level of participation…my hat is off to you…I salute our public educators.

And to those parents who perpetuate the blame game, take your kid out of public school and homeschool them yourself…
I’d love to see how much better your kid’s scores are and how much higher their gpa is because you took full responsibility for your child’s education (most of you wouldn’t last a week and your child would fail the re-entrance exam when you decide to dump them back off in public schools)…

As a retired educator I can attest to these facts, my credentials were bought and paid for by a second job.
NOT because my teaching profession paid me x amount of money you say I didn’t earn.

My students chose just how much they were willing to learn and those “free” summer paychecks were well earned over
the course of ten months with little to no moral support or involvement from parents.

So before you start yelling and screaming and whining about what little your child’s teacher teaches make a few drop in visits, review the curriculum and know just what performance is expected of that teacher. You might be surprised to learn that you jumped to many conclusions and contributed to all the rhetoric going around about how easy a teaching job is…educate yourself before you prove just how ignorant you are and just how ignorant your child is because you believe a bunch of misinformation and taught your kid to believe it too.

When a debate over lunch was had regarding public schools and the lack of a good teacher I was outraged to hear a middle school student degrade the educators in her life. The amount of disregard and disrespect this kid spewed out during the conversation was appalling and offensive. And when the debate wasn’t going her way she stopped the debate and insisted we change the subject.

Parents if you are going to put yourself and your opinionated kid out there you have to prepare them to debate adequately and without getting offended and turning tail as soon as they have nothing more to parrot in the defense of their beliefs. I am embarassed for parents who allow their child to voice their opinion but do not teach them the skills to debate. It isn’t enough to say what you want to say then
demand the subject be changed when you have nothing more to contribute because all you know how to do is repeat rhetoric. If I have to I will debate with an unarmed individual but it isn’t really any fun when the light is on and no one is home.

Friends, today I want to encourage you to teach your children in all things. Don’t depend on others to educate your child. It is your responsibility to teach them. And in my opinion their grades are representative of just how involved you are not necessarily a reflection of a teacher’s skills.

Much love

Those Who Nest, Nest

If you must lie, steal, cheat and manipulate to get what you want
when you receive it
isn’t it already tainted
and is it really yours?

A hard lesson learned
one must wait
on what is one’s own.

Rather I have what is mine
than something someone else

Might I have peace
acceptance too
for what is granted
for what is denied?

might I keep a straight eye
not sideways
wandering to and fro?

might my heart be faithful
steadfast and true?

may the truth of my word
straight as an arrow speak
keep me in my stead

for days have come
from whence evil seeps
one lie at a time
into a world
of turning hearts
bitter cold
shattered souls…

Humans, we are here with the opportunity to do supernatural things.
To think outside the box with the sole purpose of benefiting the whole
and yet many race hard after their own too self absorbed to see outside
the box of the life they seek for themselves.
Each hoarding, packing his domain like rodents nesting
contaminating the one universe designed to sustain them.

~May God the creator have mercy on our souls

by Susan Louis Davis©

Merry Go Round

The following has been contributed by the paternal grandparent of one of Amber Whited’s (murdered July 16, 2013) children:

It is their merry go round and yet I still find myself on it. There is not one way to avoid it because we are connected, we are family.

Recently I had the opportunity to attend a court hearing wherein two sisters battle the custody of two minor children. My grandchildren and because they cannot come to terms and act right my family is injured, daily.

There is no one to blame now that the mother of the two children is murdered. It is she who was irresponsible and did not plan for the future of her children. It is she who chose to be a single parent and not protect her children by providing a last will and testament in which custody of her small children is established in the event of her untimely death.

Smugly and with false humility they each tell their side of things and from my point of view all I can see is one wanting to one up the other both with the hopes that their side is best played out in the eyes of the judge. It is obvious the judge could be doing more important things than mediate another childish dispute between two adults who should know better and don’t.

Both thinking they are the victor when neither has won and the children and their paternal grandparents lose. You may ask yourself, “How do the paternal grandparents lose?” I’ll be happy to explain.

When the mother of these two small ones was murdered she had not legitimized her youngest baby, the father being my son has not adopted the eldest child as the biological father is out of the picture and my son is the only man this little girl has called daddy. Both the mother and my son young enough to think they are invincible and old enough to know life can and will throw a curve ball do not plan for the possibilities thus do not protect the interest of children and all parties involved.

Actively involved for more than three years with the eldest child and even moreso whence the newborn arrives we commit. As family we embrace the one who is not our kin and receive her into the fold of our family going so far as to include her in family events, traveling long distances for various holidays, birthdays and impromptu meals.

Deeply integrated into our lives we build one moment at a time a foundation of love which bonds us. We love these children my husband and I and the rest of our family and yet now nearly a year since their mother’s murder we have nothing but photo albums of memories, sleepover and play clothes now outgrown and donated to charity and toothbrushes tossed in the trash.

And neither woman will open up and let us in. Both hoarding their time and both offering empty and broken promises.

Suffering in silence we grieve the loss of a woman we called daughter and the loss of her precious children though very much alive but out of reach because of a power game others play. An olive branch extended and we are allowed a few peeks into their lives with photos posted online and more recently at the courthouse where the family skimmed through a recent celebration captured on pages neither my son nor I were offered to hold. From a distance my heart burns from the sight of my grand daughters caught up in a family gathering denied me and my family. Only God knows how deep the burn goes and they so caught up in one upping the other have no clue as to the pain their joy causes us.

Salt in the wound I listen to them, a family divided, bad mouth the other and gloat over their minor victories in court and out.

Having had enough I break down and let them have it, both barrels regardless of the timing and the possibilities of being completely cut off I speak my peace. Seriously, who do they think they are? The law is the law but then there is the law of love and family the unspoken law where family stick together, forging a bond which cannot be broken and though I understand this law and abide by this law they do not. After having plead my case, pouring out my heart with tears freely falling going so far as to ask to be invited to a family gathering or dinner the immediate response of one of the sisters is, “We can have an accidental meeting somewhere public…”

I am not the enemy, I have not broken any laws nor been under investigation for any crimes by any enforcement agency and yet I am treated as though I am a criminal.

What a smack in the face, no truer insult than to know I am not even worthy enough in her eyes to step in her home nor to be considered family…I get it now, it is because they have no sense of family that they do not see me and mine as such. The sooner their family begins to embrace one another imperfections and all, to live in the truth, the sooner we can all move forward. I will not lie, I will not agree to deception even if it means I can have a few stolen moments with my grand children. I want it all, the whole pie. Without skulking about in the shadows to enjoy that time with my precious grand daughters. How can she be so willing to set these children and us up for disappointment knowing neither will have the liberty to freely call on the phone or pop in to see the other as we did in the past?

The best interest of the children is certainly not being considered…

I will not live under secrecy and deception nor should I be asked to. If the children were not simply pawns in this dysfunctional family’s game of tit for tat if the children’s needs were truly at the center of it all we would be included as actively involved grandparents now as we have been since the beginning.

Friends, if you are a single parent don’t be ignorant and think you are invincible, you will not live forever and have no guarantees over tomorrow. Plan, make plans and put it in writing thus protecting the best interest of your children. You don’t want for your child(ren) to be drug through the courts from one home to another amongst people who do not have one kind word to say about the other. In the end it is always the children who pay the price for adults who never learned to play nice together. It is not in the best interest of the children to lose their mother, grand parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Losing the center of their life is difficult enough without compounding the problem in losing familial support too. Regardless of legitimization these children should continue to live the life we have all actively been involved in providing.

**BaileyBoo, Harmony-Faith you are never far from our thoughts and always in our prayers. No matter what others say and claim to know, we have always been here for you and will continue to cover you in prayer. One day we will be restored and on that day there will be much joy and celebrating. We love you with all our hearts—NanaBell and Pop

The One That Got Away

“I know you don’t do it on purpose but you talk above their ability to process, you realize you are talking to people in the south who did not have the same education you got?”

I have been advised of this much of my life. Some state it is because I spent my formative years in New England public schools where most believe a higher education really does exist. I can’t say that I have this belief.

My parents were intelligent people both read daily some of which was local newspapers as well as the one from their home town. Mom read voraciously romance, mystery and true crime stories where as my father had other interests and hobbies such as race cars and home remodel projects as well as other things. My dad listened to controversial talk radio shows and watched the news daily. My mother loved music of all kind and dabbled in the arts she even sold a painting or two. Both were spiritually grounded in their own ways and own beliefs. And both loved “JEOPARDY” each racing the other to produce the correct answer earning the highest points. I lend my level of intelligence to my parents and the environment they exposed me to as a child during my formative years. Which by the way, was filled with higher standards, higher level of thinking and an open minded approach to the possibilities.

Recently I had a minor run in with someone who was offended by my way of speech; meaning my elocution. Many who initially meet me have no understanding of my history, education or career choice and so they have no idea that this is really the way I communicate. Reared by intelligent individuals, granted a higher education than most, choosing academia studies in college and a career as an Interpreter for people who are deaf or hard of hearing. I have a lexicon of knowledge which rarely gets used now that I am retired and in a different career path. Up until recently I have never really given much thought to how I come across to others. In fact, I have always consider myself agreeable but now I will be more conscious about NOT speaking too intelligently for the situation.

And so just a few short days have passed since this little run in and while performing administrative work for my business I come across an email conversation I had with a young woman and in this conversation I can clearly see now what I didn’t see then, she was offended from start to finish because I spoke over her head. And as I re-read this email my heart begins to hurt, my throat constricts and I fight back tears because we never resolved this conversation. And my usual living in acceptance has now turned to living in regret.

She being angry and bitterly offended allowed five weeks to go by where little to no words were spoken between us. As much as I pursue a reconciliation and apologize for any offense she stands her ground and holds a grudge. Tentatively in the fifth week we begin communicating but she still angry keeps her distance.
Imagine my great regret when a few days into reconciliation she is abducted and murdered.

I had an opportunity to apologize to someone I had offended. Instead of a warm and welcoming reception it was
tossed back in my face as offensive because I was too articulate and they didn’t know if I was sincere or rude.

Believe me when I say I am quick to reconcile any incident, I never want to be left holding the bag of nastygrams from a loved one again. I can never clear the matter up with this young woman. It may always way heavy on my heart that she never really new that I loved her as one of my own.

Friends, today I want to encourage you to face yourself as others see you. To consider trimming away some things that don’t come across appropriately but offensively. Read a book in the mirror and consider the expressions you use because some people are in tune to body language and facial affect. Your passion over a thing may come across as aggression… Practice approachability…

Study on the ways to integrate mercy and grace into your daily walk and practice, practice, practice
you and your loved ones will be thankful if you do

Much love